Finding the love, even when it's hiding

Kids are a funny thing. Each one is as unique as a snowflake, yet we all read these books and articles that make it seem as if any child can become a cookie cutter "perfect" child as long as you follow the given techniques. And, perhaps there are some kids that can become what these "experts" say they can become with their foolproof method, but the reality is, I'm sorry to say, not easy and not so clear cut. I feel raising a kid is a process, and as much as they're learning, we're learning too. It takes a lot of time, perseverance, more patience than any one person could possibly have, and in most cases pure dumb luck to figure out what works. Anyone that will make you think otherwise is either lying, or completely oblivious. I have often times looked at the things I wouldn't mind changing about Melody, and kept a jealous eye on the other kids that don't have these issues (ie foot issues, eating habits, drama queen, OCD tendencies, etc), but those are the things that after I'm done pulling my hair out over, I love the most. Those issues as I call them, are what make up Melody. And I can guarantee you when she's all grown up, and we're sitting down drinking tea, I won't remember that event where she was well behaved, as much as I'll remember all the rolling around on the floor with her screaming as I'm trying to put on any other shoes besides the one pair of Dora sneakers. In my short time being a parent, I really think the trick is to love every part of your children. It's so easy to say, and even harder to do, but block out the looks the lady in the grocery store gives you as you feed your kid cookies at 9:00 in the morning to keep them happy while you shop, or the snide comments people say as you have your screeching kid in time out in the store because she bit you on the butt (oh yeah, I can't make this stuff up). Read the expert advice with a grain of salt, and pick and choose the parts that you think will work for your child.

With all of that said, remember all the times while we were pregnant when people would have the audacity to ask and say the most personal and often times rude things, and tell all of their horror stories, and comment on how we shouldn't color our hair, or eat this or that. We didn't like it, but we easily would walk away shaking our heads thinking that person was a nut job. But now that our kids are here, the same nut jobs that are spouting out all sorts of "well if it was my kid" nonsense, we walk away in tears believing their comment thinking we're the worst mother in the world. I think that comes from us trying with all of our might to be the best parent we can be, and if someone (even a nut job) thinks otherwise, we feel completely crushed. The truth is, we all are the best parent we can be. That's what being a parent is. You give all of yourself to your child, and anyone that thinks it would be different if they were in your shoes, obviously have never been in your shoes and their comments should pretty much just be kept to themselves.

I know it seems like a lot of ranting, but as Melly is in the ever lovely "terrible two's", these questionable motherhood issues often come up. It helps to get it out so if there are any other mothers have ever felt like a complete failure, we can all band together and know that there is no perfect child, no perfect parenting method, no sure fire way to get your kid to sit still, and no situation that is flawless.