The sprinkler saga begins

Melody got this amazing sprinkler for her birthday. We don't have a pool set up, or any flat ground that we could put a pool up in the yard. So the sprinkler seems like a great compromise to beat the heat. This one is really cool too. It's a giant beach ball that has about 4 spots around it where water sprinkles out of the top. Depending on how much you turn on the hose will give you different forces of water sprinkling. So here is how it goes:

I tell Melly all about it and explain that water will be involved. She is all excited to try it. As I huff and puff to blow up the beach ball (did I mention it was giant??), finally we're ready to go. I get her in her swim diaper (my Melly going topless!), slather on the sunblock, finagle her into her water shoes (with socks) and off we go. I fill the ball with water, attach the hose, bring it to the best spot, turn it on, run through it like an idiot, and wait for Melody to follow. She gets one drop of water on her, starts screaming and won't go near it. So I'm sad because it was the first time in days I wasn't sweating my butt off, and I reluctantly turn off the sprinkler. Oh no my friends, the fun does not stop there! She now refuses to walk anywhere near the ball, and won't even put her precious feet on any grass that has any possibility of being wet. She stands there (still screaming) asking to be picked up.

So, I pick her up and start to bring her inside, completely defeated. But, she screams more and louder. She has now been in the yard and wants to play on her swingset. Let me remind everyone that it was 95+ outside, and I was sweating profusely! But, I felt bad because she had been cooped up in the house, so I figured we can swing and slide for a little bit. Only now, she doesn't want to go down the slide because there's a bug on it (I thought she loved bugs??), and she doesn't want to go on the swing unless she sits on my lap. It is way too hot to sit on my lap for this. So I do what any Mom would do. I bribe her to go in the house and sit in the AC of my bedroom with a video!